I started smoking in mid 2011, going through a rather tough stage in my life. I got introduced to it on what was seemingly a good day, in a hellish half of the year. I had recently started driving, and with my own sanctuary, I started smoking several cigarettes a day, typically while driving to work, and when going for evening drives with a friend.
It was a rush. Initially, it felt more rebellious, an adrenaline rush, not nicotine induced. With time though, the addiction kicked in and I started buying packs of 20 instead of 10. This was my life for the next two and a half years.
Apart from mid 2012 when I had a girlfriend who also smoked when I was on 20 a day, my typical habit dictated around 10 cigarettes a day. Luckily for my health (relatively) and my wallet, that relationship didn’t last long. I quickly cut down to 10 again.
I never kept my smoking a secret. I wouldn’t hide it from anyone, but I wouldn’t force it on anyone either. I would wait for quiet moments in social situations and sneak out for a quiet 5 minutes, where i’d usually end up talking to others with the same idea.
I would call myself a considerate smoker. I would always try to leave a decent block of time between smoking and meeting people or going into someones home. I also made sure I stood far away from non-smokers. It’s my choice to smoke. I stood far away from those who don’t.
I always carried mints and deodorant. I was very aware of the smell, and for one person, the taste, but for me, the nicotine hit was more than worth these downsides.
A cigarette every hour or so kept me levelled in times of stress. It kept my head level, at least compared to when I had no cigarettes available and was craving a hit.
This was until Autumn 2013 when I got introduced to vaporisers. They meant I could get the hit I needed, the hit I craved, but cheaper, with no smell and in a more socially acceptable way.
It took a few months to transition between cigarettes and the vaporiser, but in time, I mostly use the vaporiser. I spent about £60 on the vaporiser, but the cost of liquid is so low compared to cigarettes that i’ve already saved so much money.
As it stands now, early January 2014, I have one or two cigarettes a day. I still enjoy the motion of standing outside with a cigarette, lighting up and stubbing it out, but it’s early days I think. I’m sure that with time, I will completely cut out cigarettes and eventually the vaporiser too.
With time, I will go ‘clean’. On my own terms though.