Something I’ve said for a long time is; Life it what you make it.
For me, that has never been truer than it is now. The last several months have been life changing for me. Specifics of what happened don’t matter, that’s not the point, but each and every one of these seemingly little events has shaped my life in profound ways. An example would be getting nominated for the .net award. That alone bought freelance work my way and raised my profile. A couple months later, I was fortunate enough to win it.
Prior to going to the awards, I saw my ex in town, that would turn out to be the last occasion we spent time together purely for entertainment. Seems insignificant, but after my name was announced and I went up & picked up the award, I stood backstage, cried a little tear and said to myself “This is it. A new start. A new everything.”. That meant not seeing her too, even as a friend. Too painful. I meant it, and I’ve made it happen.
I haven’t spoke to my ex in two months now. Not a single word, message or notification shared. Even though it hurts sometimes, I’m putting my mind and body into my work. I am relocating the energy I would otherwise waste missing her into building a career for myself. I tend to use the bad stuff to inspire me to get better and push for the good.
Pushing for that good stuff, has ultimately led me in a direction I didn’t think I’d be able to take for years, and that’s leaving agency life and going freelance. It seems like a boring decision to some, but for me, it’s another fresh start. The opportunities that await me, if I keep pushing for them, are ones I would never get otherwise.
Sure, there are days where everything goes wrong, stress builds to un-liveable levels and frustration leads to bad things. But here’s the thing, that’s probably for the best. If something in life gets me worked up and bothered, I probably don’t need it. I may want it, but that’s something else. It’s live those books that tell you to throw all your un-used, un-loved and useless crap away and feel more connected with what you do have.
Hell, I threw away the chance to work on a startup with a 6 figure investment (as a co-founder no-less) due to frustration, but looking back to a few days ago, it’s for the best. Start-up culture would not suit me at all. It was better I get out now than when I’m invested in it emotionally. I’m glad about this. This bad thing, only means I can push for what I really want, to be my own boss. I’m making that happen even if it means being an arsehole to a few people. It’s my life, I know what it needs.
I take comfort in knowing that whatever plan I make, I know there is a way to make it happen. No telling how long it’ll take, or how it’ll happen, but one day, somehow, events will happen in a such a way that leads me to that big opportunity I’m craving.
So what does the title mean? It’s something I tell myself to motivate me. It means, if you don’t make things happen, they will happen to someone else and you will not be part of them. I cannot sit here slogging away, day in, day out, waiting for opportunities to come my way. I seemed to have built myself a career by asking people for things.
I will not stop now, I will never stop.